Who Do Douloi Call When They Need Help?
Our founder joined online groups for local birth, postpartum, and death douloi. What she found was hard to ignore. Most were doulas (female presenting) and were asking real questions — about clients, business, certification, and their own emotional health — and getting no response. No comments. No reactions. Just silence.
Some douloi go through the whole certification process alone, hoping to find a mentor in what should be a field full of peers. It can feel like the only way to “make it” is to figure it out yourself.
Every doula and doulos has their own skills and focus. That’s a good thing. But it can also mean we get so locked in on our clients that we forget we’re part of a bigger team. When a client picks a doula/doulos, they’re often in a closed loop with high expectations. Birth and postpartum doulas are expected to have a backup — a “sister” doula. So why do doulas/doulos in other fields work alone?
Our founder, Rowan of Ashen Moon Doula Services, decided to change that. She brought doulas/doulos together through monthly dinner gatherings, special events, and a group chat to build a real, living community — for the people who build community for everyone else. Because doulas/doulos deserve the same things we give our clients: self-care, connection, and lasting support.
NoCODoCo does not and will not discriminate its members based on race, religion, gender,
marital status, disability, sexual orientation, LGBTQ+ status, or age. All doulas and douloi have a place here.
Why Doula, Doulos, and Douloi?
The word “doula” comes from Greek and means “woman who serves.” As more people question whether that label fits a modern, growing profession, there’s also a gap worth naming: men in the field are rarely talked about at all.
NoCODoCo wants to close that gap. Our founder trained alongside male-identifying death “doulas” and made a point to build a space where they belong too. While endearingly nicknamed “dude-las” the male Greek equivalent is “doulos”, meaning “man who serves” — it reflects the same root, the same role, and the same commitment to clients. “Douloi” is the plural when referring to a group of both doulas and doulos.
We use all three terms because the work isn’t defined by gender. Whether you identify as a doula, a doulos, or simply a professional who shows up for people at life’s hardest moments, you have a place here.